“His greatest creation is you. You are His greatest creation. Everything you need, He put inside you.“ (Bro. Robert Newton, 7-8-13)
How can I be His greatest creation? Does He really value me…?
More than a sunset? Or a roaring river flowing through the mountains? More than
the Garden of Eden? How could He value me?
And yet, He did not give His son—His only son—His beloved
son—to suffer & die for a sunset, or a river, or a garden. He did
give His son for me.
Jesus has proven His love beyond a shadow of a doubt. He gave himself. He suffered.
He endured. He despised the shame
of it. But He did it because of the joy
ahead. (Heb 12:2)
So, why do I feel like I have no value? That I don’t really
matter? And even worse, that I am a big
disappointment? A failure? Rejected? Why
do I battle the same battles day after day, month after month, year after year?
What key am I missing? Why can’t I get
it?
Oh, I acknowledge the truth.
I nod my head & say amen! My
life’s schedule revolves around the church’s.
And still, there are days, too many I’m sad to admit, that I
struggle. I can go from the mountain
top, great faith, energy & joy to the depths of loneliness, tiredness, and
a constant battle against negative forces of depression, criticism, &
tears. Even as I know it’s not right
& I should shake it off, I lose momentum.
Instead of tearing down strongholds & banishing the darkness, I
stumble…again. I weaken…I become
overwhelmed. Dear, Lord, save me from
myself. “Don’t let the enemy overtake me!”
seems to be a familiar desperate cry.
So, how does one reconcile the strong overcoming person of
faith with the small child inside who wants to do great things, but in reality,
doesn’t know how to fly? Even wonders if
God really does love them because they’re His special creation, or if He loves
them because He is God & He has to.
That seems amusing as I write it. Like God says, ‘Well, I made Tina & I
love her, but only because I have to, not cause I really want to.
When Bro. Newton prayed for me, he said something that
struck a chord in my soul. He said, “You’ve
given all you can give. You’ve come to the end of yourself. The end of yourself…but
not the end of God. He doesn’t come to
the end of Himself.”
In Matthew 11 Jesus said, “Come to Me all you who labor
& are heavy laden, & I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you & learn of Me, for
I am gentle & lowly in heart, & you will find rest for your souls.”
He will give us rest.
In Psalm 23, He says He restores our soul.
Let’s face it…life is hard. Life stinks. Life is not fair.
Yet, we have a champion. We have a
defender, a strong tower. When we are
weak, He is strong. And He loves
us. He loves me! He loves you!
And He is BIG ENOUGH, capable enough, & wise enough to protect my
fragile little soul & bring me to the day of completion when flesh will
lose all hold. I will put on immortality. I will be like Him & with Him.
And until that day, I will continue on. I will have struggles, & no doubt some
failures. But I will also have some
triumphs. And He will never leave me or
forsake me. And even though it’s beyond
my ability to comprehend, I know He loves me.
I am His greatest creation. You
are His greatest creation.
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| picture by Matt Rogers |
By Tina Van Brunt
